I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize