Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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