I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
