thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
