i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
