Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
two words...techno handjob
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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