I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
