Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
