Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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