Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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