Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
