He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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