Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize