whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
