Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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