i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
