I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
