What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
