nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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