So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
