Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
