He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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