On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
