WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Randomize
