Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
