guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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