nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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