Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She told me I should be a condom model.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
