She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
