I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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