Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
