Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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