i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
