To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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