i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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