she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Drunk walkin through police station. America
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
