what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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