well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
