I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
