Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
