My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Drunk walkin through police station. America
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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