You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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