if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
50% drunk capacity currently
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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