She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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