I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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