No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
