The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
