Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
