I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
