Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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