When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
