So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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