Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
