I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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