yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
