i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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