The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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