How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
