dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm bleeding and have questions
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
