Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
